Question: I am a 23-year- old girl and will be getting married soon. However, I am getting increasingly worried about the sexual relationship that marriage will bring with it.
Since I have never been in any relationship before, most of my doubts about sex have been clarified by my friends. But my biggest concern is that if my husband forces me to have sex on our first night together, I will not be ready for it. Tell me, is it essential for the marriage to be consummated on the first night itself ?
- PB
Answer by Dr. Sanjay Chugh: Most of the people I have known consummated their marriage several days after they were married. Of course, that is if they hadn't done so before the wedding day itself ! In today's world, in which pre-marriage festivities go on for several days, if not weeks, the newly-weds are probably sleeping together even before they hit the suhaag raat bed.
Postmarriage, it is only when all the tiredness and fatigue of the wedding ceremonies have eased off that the couple gets into the mood. However, if the first few encounters are not pleasurable enough, these will probably leave a negative impact on the psyche.
Here's a message for all those out there who are about to hit the nuptial sack: Consummate at ease, or repent at leisure! Sex or making love can be the source of so much pleasure, provided a few clumsy, hasty, pain-filled strokes at the outset don't leave any kind of negative mark on the psyche of any of the two participants. My clinic cupboards are full of case histories of couples who thought that the suhaag raat was make or break day when the butterflies had to be set free. And they were finally presented with vaginismus or erectile dysfunction/impotence because of their unseemly haste.
- Dr. Sanjay Chugh, psychiatrist
Since I have never been in any relationship before, most of my doubts about sex have been clarified by my friends. But my biggest concern is that if my husband forces me to have sex on our first night together, I will not be ready for it. Tell me, is it essential for the marriage to be consummated on the first night itself ?
- PB
Answer by Dr. Sanjay Chugh: Most of the people I have known consummated their marriage several days after they were married. Of course, that is if they hadn't done so before the wedding day itself ! In today's world, in which pre-marriage festivities go on for several days, if not weeks, the newly-weds are probably sleeping together even before they hit the suhaag raat bed.
Postmarriage, it is only when all the tiredness and fatigue of the wedding ceremonies have eased off that the couple gets into the mood. However, if the first few encounters are not pleasurable enough, these will probably leave a negative impact on the psyche.
Here's a message for all those out there who are about to hit the nuptial sack: Consummate at ease, or repent at leisure! Sex or making love can be the source of so much pleasure, provided a few clumsy, hasty, pain-filled strokes at the outset don't leave any kind of negative mark on the psyche of any of the two participants. My clinic cupboards are full of case histories of couples who thought that the suhaag raat was make or break day when the butterflies had to be set free. And they were finally presented with vaginismus or erectile dysfunction/impotence because of their unseemly haste.
- Dr. Sanjay Chugh, psychiatrist